I close my bedroom door behind me, turn on a single lamp on the night table, and switch on some music. My iPod comes to life with a hum and a buzz, and a second later, Van Morrison is singing words I could have written about Lark. Searching. Waiting. Looking. All for someone exactly like her. Someone like her, who makes it all worthwhile.
I sigh, closing my eyes. I drop to my bed, and put my face in my hands.
Aiden’s right, I have to privately admit to myself, now that I’m alone here in my own bedroom. Lark is my opposite in so many key ways. Socially. Financially. Sexually. Attractiveness. Worldliness. She’s older than me, and so much more sophisticated, knowledgeable. She inhabits a world that, to me, is not just unfamiliar, but unreal.
With her, there will be none of the normal, everyday things I always wanted: evenings watching TV cuddled on the sofa, sharing a pizza or a bag of microwave popcorn. Going backpacking. Doing a grocery shopping and then cooking a meal together. Having friends over for an impromptu board game night.
Hell, I can’t even imagine her here in my bedroom with me, spending the night with me in my place, getting up together and walking, holding hands, out to one of the nearby places for chai lattes or fresh-baked muffins.
Instead, there will be rules. Discipline. Contracts and handbooks.
But amazing sex! my Id whispers to me, sotto voce.
Yeah. There’s that.
My freshly-awakened sex drive is at war with my sense of self-preservation.
At least see what it’s all about, my Superego says pragmatically, and I sigh again, and do what I’ve been dreading for twenty-four hours: I reach for the Handbook and the old tome, and prepare to look them over thoroughly.
I reread the parts we already went over together, and can help feeling a warm rush of excitement as I see our names linked on the pages in typed font. Sebastian Liam Stone and Lark Ellery Blackwood.
Another thought occurs to me: did I ever tell her my middle name? How does she know?
I swallow. I suspect Lark knows a lot more about me, about everyone, than she lets on. She has to play her cards close to the vest at all times.
Okay, I think. I can do this.
I turn to the heavy, no-nonsense, beautifully printed page with the heading: ROLES*, and, after a bracing drink of my Diet Coke, I begin to read.
THE DOMINANT ROLE
Master will do everything within Her power to train, educate, instruct, shape and mold Sebastian Liam Stone into best boy possible.
Master shall take responsibility for the wellbeing and the proper training, guidance, and discipline of the boy.
Master shall decide the nature of the boy’s training, guidance, and discipline and the time and place of its administration. The aforementioned is subject to the agreed terms, limitations and safety procedures set out in this contract, or agreed to during negotiations and addended to this document..
Master will stretch the boy’s limits to help him grow in the life and position.
THE SUBMISSIVE ROLE
The boy shall make themselves available for use by Master in anyway Master desires at anytime Master desires whenever feasible, within the terms of this contract.
The boy shall not have any sexual contact with any other person other than Master.
Master will never allow the boy to scene with anyone without Her express permission and control. The boy will never participate in sexual activity outside of the Master’s permission. Monogamy is essential for a safe, sane, and consensual environment.
The boy shall bring and show honor and respect to Master at all times, and respond to Master’s demands without hesitation nor debate.
The boy shall not touch or pleasure themselves sexually without explicit permission from the Master. The boy shall not touch the Master without explicit permission from Her first.
The boy will not make direct eye contact with Master, nor address Her without explicit permission.
The boy will kneel, speak respectfully, obey, and behave with utmost decorum at all times.
Master shall respect and honor the invocation of the safe word, ______, by the boy.
The boy shall not invoke the safe word unless absolutely necessary, and never during punishment.
Punishment is essential to demonstrate Master’s power, strength and authority over the boy, and to create a safe environment for exploration. Master may punish or discipline the boy for the purpose of training, for Her own personal enjoyment, or for any other reason, which She is not obliged to provide.
Master shall inform the boy the reason for any formal punishment scene. Periodically during the punishment scene, Master will remind the boy the reason for the punishment.
The boy shall count each stroke when being formally punished by flogging, spanking, caning, whipping, etc. and also must thank Master following punishment.
PERMANENT BODILY HARM
Master will not scar, bruise, pierce, tattoo, damage, or cut the boy without permission. However, if negotiated as part of the contract, the boy agrees to accept any mark that Master desires, anywhere on their body, indicating ownership by Master
The Master and the boy agree and acknowledge that all that occurs under the terms of this contract will be kept confidential. The boy will not disclose details of the relationship, nor any details regarding Master and Her person, residence, business, family, or activities, to anyone. Any of this, especially involving contact with the media, will result in immediate termination and initiation of court proceedings. The Master will not sell or distribute photographs, film, or other material products of activity with the boy unless agreed upon in negotiations.
The relationship must be one of mutual trust, understanding and consent at all times.
For safety and privacy, the Master and the boy will not participate in parties, clubs, online groups, or any other Lifestyle activities outside of their relationship, and with whom the Master sees fit.
APPEARANCE AND GROOMING
Master will provide clothing, grooming services, toiletries and products, and other accoutrements to the boy during the duration of their contractual relationship.
Master shall pick out the entire wardrobe of the boy when they are going out in public, however, Master may instruct the boy to pick out said wardrobe and punish the boy for selecting an inappropriate outfit after the boy has received proper training on appropriate outfits for public display.
The boy agrees to maintain his physical self by regular bathing and all other routine body care (e.g. grooming, etc.).
The boy shall maintain clean shaven genitalia, legs and underarms at all times, unless instructed otherwise by the Master. Waxing will be regularly scheduled and administered by a trained aesthetician.
The boy understands that personal appearance reflects on the Master, and must be attended to at all times.
NUTRITION & EXERCISE
The boy will consume a diet of provided meals that does not exceed 1500 calories per day, and will exercise 3 times a week and 2 hours per time, with the assistance of a private trainer, provided by the Master. The boy will willingly eat all foods provided by the Master without argument, or expect punishment.
Punishment will never include the withholding of foods for the purpose of starvation.
From the dates ______ to ______, the boy will reside with the Master at Her primary residence, secondary residence, or any address she determines. The boy will have access to all necessary amenities during the duration of their residence, including clean quarters, wardrobe, meals, transportation, entertainment, technology (phone, WiFi, computer access, etc.), as well as necessary medical care if needed.
For the duration of their residence, the boy will perform duties in service to the Master at Her discretion and demand. This includes but is not limited to: meal preparation, light cleaning, bathing and hair-washing, and any other services that please the Master or which She deems essential or appropriate.
MASTER: No touching of chest, breasts, or nipples. No knives, needles, or other instruments for cutting or piercing. No scarring of any kind. No hitting with a closed fist. No fire, matches, heated items, fireplay, nor burning of any kind. No photographs or film with identifying features. No bloodplay, nor drawing of blood. No electronic devices. No bodily fluids or products, including urine, scat, vomit, other than small amounts of saliva. No children or animals. No activity considered illegal, or that might lead to arrest.
Does the boy find use of or play with the following acceptable? (Indicate with a checkmark in black ink.)
- Hot wax
- Sex toys (designed for the purpose)
Sex toys (impromptu use of non-designated items)
Bodily fluids (saliva, semen, urine, blood)
Is the boy willing to engage in the following activities? (Indicate with a checkmark in black ink.)
- Oral stimulation (giving)
- Oral stimulation (receiving)
- Vaginal intercourse (giving)
- Anal intercourse (giving)
- Anal penetration with toys (receiving)
- Anal penetration with fingers (receiving)
- Anal penetration with fist (receiving)
- Anal penetration with an agreed-upon partner in participation (receiving)
- Food play
- Breath play/air play
- Slapping (open hand) on the face
- Slapping (open hand) elsewhere
- Hitting or punching with a closed fist (face or elsewhere)
- Being bitten
Will the boy accept the use of the following? (Indicate with a checkmark in black ink.)
- Full-face masks
- Gags (ball, metal, leather, impromptu materials)
- Clamps (nipples)
- Clamps (genitals)
- Cat o’ Nine Tails
- Designed restraints (cuffs, bars, chains and manacles, tables/furniture, etc.)
- Impromptu restraints (tape, ties, etc.)
On a scale of one to ten, with ten being “extreme” and one being “barely noticeable,” what level of pain are you willing to endure?
Note: Soft limits are not absolute, and may be discussed in Negotiation.
By the time I reach the end of the pages, my head is spinning, and I feel sick. I drop the Handbook to the floor, aghast and nauseous.
THIS is what she wants from me? This?
Punishing me for her own personal enjoyment. Me, available for her use at any time she demands it. Blindfolds, gags, belts, whips. Household duties in between beatings and biting, anal penetration. A legally-enforceable diet and exercise, for fuck’s sake?!
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!
MBO Playlist, “Someone Like You,” Van Morrison
Contract information cited/incorporated from the following sites: